Friday, May 27, 2016

Doodle by Claire Tomkinson
Spending time with my Aunt is a precious part of my life. She is a joy to be around and we share many laughs, loads of creativity, and basically, we solve all the world’s problems every time we get together. She has given me more than I could ever thank her for.

This week she gave me a new phrase that I believe is an important one to share. We were discussing boundaries and saying, “No” more often. We both have decided that we no longer want to make decisions based on what we think would make other people happier. We both are trying to practice the balance of No and Yes, and only doing things that we authentically want to do.

My Aunt finished our conversation by saying, “No is a complete sentence.”

And she is right. Saying “No” is not mean. It is not a bad thing. It isn’t going to hurt other people. “No” is simply the answer to a question. It doesn’t need to be explained because it is. Just like, Yes, is. We never question “Yes”, do we? But often, we question “No” and anchor so many emotions and fears to that word.

It is a word that is also an answer and it just means, No. And “No” is just the answer right now. It doesn’t mean it will always be the answer.

When you say, “No” to something then you are saying, “Yes” to something else like self-care.  Saying "No" can actually be a form of showing love to yourself or someone else. “No” is not personal. It is not offensive. It is just No and it is a complete sentence. Now, I just have to practice using it!

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