How many of you have ever been on a mission trip? How many
of you have ever served someone or helped at a non-profit in your community?
This week Joel sat down and figured out how many services he
volunteers for. He came up with 9 things that he helps with on a regular basis.
This is on top of the fact that he runs a non-profit and his job is organizing
groups to serve at non-profits all over our city. I started thinking about the
areas where I volunteer outside of my job description (director of middle
school youth) and I am also part of 9 volunteer activities/organizations on a
regular basis and some of them are different from Joel’s.
Just thinking about this made me tired. We had a
conversation about what we would do if we weren't volunteering our time. For one thing, I
imagined myself blogging a lot more. I also felt really free just thinking
about it all that time I could get back. Suddenly, I had this urge to quit
everything and start fresh. Then Joel asked me something, “Do you think we
volunteer because we think we are important?”
I don’t know that answer to that. We do think our time makes
a difference in people’s lives and that is a big motivating factor, but we
began to wonder if we both stepped out of these opportunities…would they just
cease to happen? Probably not so then, why do we do them? Why do we want to quit them so often?
I mentioned this conversation to my friend and pastor,
Petra. She didn't say much at the time, but taught me a great lesson a couple
days later. Ministry of Education (one of the committees I serve on) was asked
to serve Room in the Inn for a group of young adults who were simulating the
experience of being homeless and then being provided food and shelter by the
church for the night. I've served our real homeless neighbors like this a
couple times already this year so I didn't think it would be a big deal to
spend a couple hours helping to make this young adult’s mission trip effective.
From 5:30-8:00 we prepared dinner, served dinner, ate with
our guests and cleaned up. Petra came in and announced to the group she would
like to debrief with us before we go. All of us sort of groaned and made lots
of comments about how it “better be de-BRIEF because we have been doing this
all evening.”
When we sat down, Petra asked us to reflect on our
experience. So we shared our observations and comparisons. Then she asked what
we did before we came to Room in the Inn. After that she said she was going to
play a song from our worship service and asked us to dedicate the length of the
song to thinking about why we volunteered tonight and what we will take with
us.
I admit that when she said we were going to listen to the
song I was pouting inside. I was tired. I had worked all day and I had already
volunteered at the middle school that morning at 7am. I wanted to go home. By
the end of the song, the words finally broke through my train of thoughts that seemed almost glued to worrying, complaining and exhaustion. It was like something clicked, finally. It
was genius. I needed to be captured there just long enough for my own barriers
to fall down.
The song seemed to engulf us all and we were held there in
this suspended moment in time. Then Petra explained that so often we serve
without ever pausing to reflect on the experience. We don’t think about what we
just did for someone, what was said, why it matters, or how it impacted their
lives or ours. We just do and do and do and then we go and do the next thing. This
is how we become a church of exhausted volunteers.
I was floored. Not only do I serve like this- get it done,
move to the next thing- I teach the youth to do the same thing.
One woman in our group began tearing up and shared with us
that she had returned just a week ago from a mission trip with our church at
Appalachian Service Project. She said she experienced heaven when she worked
hard all day with God’s people and then spent the evening reflecting on that
gift. The group would end their nights in song, worshiping God. It was so hard
to transition back to the busy and mindless speed of life in Charlotte. She
longed for that intentionality and reminder of purpose; that all she did was
part of something grand and wonderful in God’s created world. She is right. We
should be able to experience this Kingdom living every day.
Without these moments of pause all our efforts can become
things that we do and things that we do soon pile up into burdens that we carry.
Thank you, Petra for reminding me that each of these moments
of service are gifts and if I take but a moment to reflect on that, I will
experience the greatest gift of all- fulfillment.
Are we human beings or human's doing?
