Everything is energy and has a life force all it's own. Everything you encounter is energy that flows through you. Everything that you choose to hold on to will become blocked energy. You have the potential to become full of a boundless force of energy.
I am reading The Untethered Soul: A journey beyond yourself by Michael A. Singer. Singer explains this reality in a way that has finally made sense to me. He asks you to imagine that you are driving down the road. You are passing trees, one after another. You see each of them for a moment and then they are behind you. You don't hold on to any of them but acknowledge each one and let it move through your awareness. Each one is taken in by your awareness but none of them are held by your awareness which means that you can remain present to the next ones that you will pass without missing any of them.
This is how he explains a healthy life should be. Everything we experience should be like those trees we pass on the highway of life. You experience all that comes your way, you feel it, sense it, take it in and then let it go.
If you are driving down this highway and for some reason a tree with a big knot catches your attention and you start thinking about it, wondering about where it got that knot, how it came to be in that spot, who planted it, when...suddenly your awareness if fixated on that one tree when you have already passed hundreds that you didn't even notice since all you concentrated on was the one that is far behind you now.
You whole experience of life is about to change because of what you didn't let pass through you. What I found so interesting about this analogy is that it is so neutral. Singer doesn't present these blockages as good experiences or bad experiences; just experiences that we hold on to. Any experience that you do not let pass through your awareness become "Samskara" which means "impression" in Sanskrit. Samskara energy spins inside you in a maddening circle that can neither come or go. You just hold it and cycle in and out of awareness around it.
Good memories that you hold on to because they make you feel what you felt in that moment can become just as blocked as bad memories that re-present themselves in your awareness over and over turning new experiences into shadows of a past hurt. Samskara energy is anything that you won't let go of. Anything that you cling to or push out of your awareness.
For someone like me, this hit home. I am a clinger. I have spent several years working hard on letting go of negative energy that has left me blocked, facing experiences that I tried to push deep down outside of my awareness so that I didn't have to feel them. I am slowly acknowledging old pain and releasing myself from the cyclical negativity it brings to my life. That makes sense to me. What caught me off guard about Singer's idea is that happy energy can also become a blockage.
I have stored thousands of joyful moments from my life. I replay memories of my Daddy over and over in my head until they no longer bring me joy but remind me that he is gone. I retell stories of my grandparents until they are transcribed on my heart but then when I see them in their altered and aged states those bright moments seem dim as their characters no longer live into those roles that I have assigned them. First kisses, dates, and conversations with my husband can even turn into a reminder of how much our relationship has changed from those early days of passionate disregard to social norms.
Holding on to the best moments of my life have left me in a tornado of energy that isn't going anywhere and even good energy spirals into a negative force holding you in place when you were designed only to grow. Energy that you cling to is nothing more than a blockage to your own highest potential.
Singer wants us all to become aware of our consciousness. What are you conscious of right now? Your center of consciousness is so much stronger than the pull of the energy that you are holding on to. Remember that it is you who is holding on to it so it is you who can let it go.
In order to let this Samskara energy go, Singer suggests that it is much simpler than you might think. When you notice (the tricky part is being aware of yourself enough to notice) that blocked energy rising up from its trap inside you, you should relax, reflect and let it go. open up your heart and let it pass through. Just stepping behind that energy flow and choosing to let it go on past you like all those trees on the highway is enough for it to move on.
Singer assures you that once you start the practice of acknowledging blocked energy in your life, that all those old blockages will start coming to the surface more and more often so that you can deal with them. Sometimes they bring that pain that helped you to choose to trap them down deep and unacknowledged all this time. Just accept the pain, it is momentary, and then let it go. Another tree behind you on the highway of life.
"The alternative is to enjoy life instead of clinging to it or pushing it away. If you can live like that, each moment will change you. If you are willing to experience the gift of life instead of fighting with it, you will be moved to the depth of your being."