Wednesday, August 7, 2013

U flecku: best beer on earth

Visiting Prague is one of the best things to experience maybe...ever. Wandering the cobblestone streets, staring at the Gothic spires that bedeck churches, court houses, apartment buildings, astronomical clocks, the like, is pure whim and fancy! 

Prague seems like a small town and an enormous city all at once. Tucked in the heart of the Czech Republic, it doesn't get all the attention that a city of its historic magnitude deserved. However, I am not writing about that today.

What I want everyone who visits Prague to do is eat a meal and have a drink (like you can only have one) at the U'Flecku. 

It is a little bit further down the river than most people like to trot but it is well worth it. U'Flecku is charming from the minute you set eyes on it. Once you are inside the giant wooden door you will be washed into a beer hall with long tables and benches ready for guests. The room will be packed at all times of day or night, full of languages and backgrounds that are sometimes hard to trace. A band will enter wearing lederhosen and hats. They will play an accordion, tuba, and usually will sing along in various languages to accommodate their large variety of guests. 

A man with bushy eyebrows will come to your table carrying a platter of full beer mugs. He will lean forward, give you a sparkling stare and set two mugs down in front of you. Then on a small scrap of paper he will scratch two tally marks, wink and depart. 

You only get to drink the black, frothy beer in front of you and the moment it touches your lips you will sink back on your stool, letting a big grin stretch across your face. That beer is the best beer I've ever tasted. It is earthy, springy, thick and hearty. After one, you will most certainly have two and after two you will most certainly be happier than you imagined for your day of touring around Praha. They have been making this same beer for over 500 years at this bar.

It doesn't stop there. Another man will come by with another platter full of small sorbet glasses. Each one is spilling over with a strong smelling, clear liquid. This man will stare into your soul, raise an eyebrow and a glass simultaneously, signaling that you must try this liquor. So you will. Then you probably will again. It is an alcoholic combination of herb garden and liquorice. 

After you are nearly full of beer, your meal will come. Perfectly sauteed brots, caramelized purple onions and cabbage, potato pancakes, hand made dumplings, will arrive steaming in front of you. At this point all you could possible do is clap for joy and sing along to "My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean" which the band is starting to play because they can tell that you, American, are ready to sing in English.

Once you have eaten every orgasmic bite, you will light an old German woman's cigarette. Then you will exchange facebook information with a man from Bosnia who has hands that dance like fairies around his body. He has found that you are his new friend and offers to put you up if you will come to his country. The table of Italian soccer players are singing loudly now with their arms wrapped around one another while you decide to have just one more beer when Mr. Bushy Eyebrows sparkles your way.

I did fall asleep after that lunch. Missed Prague Castle-oh well.
At the end of the meal, you realize that you have had a 4 hour lunch, you have 9 tally marks on your scrap of paper and your bill is about to come.

For the best beer on planet earth, shots of a mystery liquor, two hearty meals, you pay a mere $34 American dollars. 

Welcome to U'Flecku Waked Up! I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.