Saturday, August 3, 2013

Bitches are broken

I have known a few bitches in my day. Heck, I have probably been one more times than I can count. However, I know that all the times I have been a terrible bitch something has been off in my life. 

Joel and I try to practice "HALT" (cheesy, I know) but it works! Anytime one of us is being crabby, some need is not being met. We always try to check in and find out if one of us is hungry, tired, angry,lonely, or occasionally has had too much to drink, so that we can bring that to our awareness before we choose to get into a fight about something that doesn't matter at all. The same thing goes for life and all the people you meet. Generally, people just are not terrible to each other unless something is wrong. It seems we operate out of the void when we experience a missing and slap that darkness on other people while we are wallowing in it.

Over the summer, I have had the pleasure of encountering some bitchy characters from all walks of life. I usually just pass over these sorts of people and excuse myself from needing to interact with them. I don't like bringing negative energy into my sphere of balance (when it is present). But there was one lady that I just could not shake off my mind. She just had no reason not to like me and she was doing everything she could do to avoid any contact with me at all, very obviously too. 

Finally, during worship (go figure), we sang this song:


I am singing, I am worshiping, I am present. Basically, I am feelin' it. Right as I sing this line "give me your eyes for the broken hearted, the ones who are far beyond my reach..." I glance over at this woman and I know I am seeing her for the first time. 

I saw her eyes as she sang and even though she was smiling, her heart was breaking. It was vivid and apparent. I was totally taken aback and filled with compassion for this person, who just a moment ago, was really getting under my skin. 

Joel is so good at seeing right through a smile and recognizing the emotional energy of a soul crouching inside that human. Sometimes I just tune it out because I just want it to be simple- she's a bitch. Then I don't have to do anything. I don't have to love her. However, from the minute that line rang out of my own mouth, I knew that I had just prayed God would let me see broken hearts and there it was, just a few rows back. 

Everyone has heard this at some point in life. "That bully is just really sad." "That kid is mean because she is hurting so badly." We all KNOW this but there is a difference between knowing it in our heads and committing to it in our hearts. We are called to become love in that space with them.

The first time I ever considered this idea, I was 16 years old watching "Mona Lisa Smile". There is a scene where the most horrible, terrible, awful bitch (Kristen Dunst) is just laying it on one of her friends (Maggie Gyllenhaal). All I could think was "ooo yeah that bitch is going to get slapped in the face FINALLY!" In that moment, her friend rushed forward and forced Dunst into the tightest hug imaginable and that raging beast-girl broke down in tears. I had never witnessed a gesture like that before. 

Here it is, if you are interested:


God's love, people... This is God's love. Sometimes, we deserve to be smacked across the face and we are wrapped in an embrace.

As you go about your day today, don't forget that bitches are broken. Be love.