The Engelhart's created this book to teach their philosophy on life. They model this way of living daily and train their staff to practice their philosophy while they work in their various farm-to-table restaurants on the West coast. This way of living and viewing the world has become so transformational and life-giving that they have been leading weekend workshops all over the country empowering people to fully embrace being love. If you haven't had the chance to learn more about this couple, I hope you will check out the links on this page. I also highly recommend reading their books.
For the present moment, I am going to share their idea on expectation which consequentially has become my own. When you walk into any situation you have been trained to create expectations. You picture how the day will go, imagine who you will see and how they will act, you decide how you will act and react and to what standard you will be held. We create expectations constantly. When you make a phone call you either expect someone to pick up or not. When you hangout with your friends you expect to do something particular or to find them behaving in a certain way. Cooking dinner, you expect the recipes to come out a certain way and the consumers to react according to those expectations. In relationships, you expect your spouse to understand what you are feeling or thinking or perhaps you don't expect them too. It doesn't matter if you are creating them for yourself, your relationships or your experiences; you are creating expectations.
|This is me expecting these pants to look good on me...|
When you create expectations you are only letting yourself experience two things: Meeting your expectations or being disappointed. There is nothing in between those two outcomes from this daily practice. If you want to dilute an experience and reduce love down to a theory, the best thing you can possibly do is create expectations.
Growing up, I remember being taught to set high expectations for myself. These expectations were often unrealistic and therefore, I was usually left with a feeling of disappointment in myself. I also expect certain things from my friends and family. All this ends up doing is holding them low, not allowing them to change or grow and not allowing us to grow together. How can there be love in this state of experiencing the world? We are taught that expectations are a tool for humankind assume control. What we are actually controlling is the hinge on a door that shuts out God's provision.
- Pull you out of the present moment- they are future driven which means they haven't even happened yet.
- Are met which only makes you right but often isn't fulfilling.
- Are not met which leave you with the experience of disappointment.
- Place your ability to be satisfied outside of yourself.
When you set expectations about how things will turn out and how people are then you are not allowing yourself to experience what really is. You are saying that your experience of the world is outside of yourself. This is a lie. You choose your expectations and you choose your experience of everything. You can choose to experience this blog post as truth or as bull honkie. You can choose to experience your husband as not loving you because he isn't doing the things you want him to do. Or you can choose to experience how he is showing you that he loves you which is probably different from what you expected. We choose our experiences. The power is in your perception.
Letting go of expectation is allowing yourself to live fully present to love in the moment. When you can simply BE in the moment, BE with people, BE who you are right now, then you can truly open yourself up to experiencing love. God is providing in every single moment of our lives. I believe this with all my being and I believe His provision is laid before us in an experience of love.
|This is Joel taking the moment in Boston|
This is how I try to live each day.
If there is something you want or need, just ask for it or share that information. If you find yourself creating an expectation based on something that happened in the past, remember that you are not the same person you were yesterday and neither is that person you are thinking about. Remember to leave room for transformation, not just in your life, but in the lives of others. We are constantly growing. We should hold each other high and honor the journey of growth we are all on together.
If you have to live into one expectation please let it be this:
Expect the unexpected.